Softening

I was talking to my daughter, Lauren, the other day about clothes, and mentioned that I hate (and almost never wear) pants. What I really meant was I see no reason to wear clothes that hurt me. I didn't even remember at the time that when she was little, Miss Lauren absolutely refused to wear pants of any kind, no matter what the weather. She was all about dresses, soft, comfy dresses that moved with her, felt cool in the summer, and worked just fine with the addition of tights in the winter. That's exactly how I dress now, while the jeans lie folded in the closet.

It's about making my world softer, and I'm noticing that I'm doing it more and more, in other areas of my life too. Our home is filled with comfortable, soft furniture, tossed with pillows and draped with cuddly blankets. Cloth napkins often replace paper ones. A simple bowl of good food, held in my hand, is my favorite way to eat. A cup of tea is a near-constant companion. And classical music drifts from Pandora stations most of the day.

I once read that Doris Day was always filmed through a slightly blurry lens because she had tons of freckles. Watch one of her movies, and you'll notice that every shot of her is a little bit softer and dreamier than those of the other actors. I call it the Doris Day Effect when I edit photos of myself. Where clarity and sharp focus used to be so important to me, in photos and in life, I'm beginning to see that hazy lines are not a bad thing at all.

It's easy to be hard on ourselves, and on others - demanding, judgmental, even mean. What would it be like if we became softer and softer, let the edges blur, let go of sharp focus, and just started to see the world through a somewhat more gentle filter.

This is kind of a new way of thinking for me. I'm prone to pokey edges at times. I'm going to play with the idea of a general "softness of being" and see what happens. Maybe it's just because it's winter in the Northwest, or because I'm getting... gulp... older. Does the reason matter? I kind of think not. I also think it might be time to donate those abandoned jeans to someone who wants them, and to replenish my supply of fleece-lined leggings. They are absolutely the softest, most lovely thing in my wardrobe. I'll remind Lauren to get some too.